


How Far We've Come

by I_hate_the_snow



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Finding Love, Guilt, Regret, Teamwork, life in the zombie apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-02-23 00:37:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23969566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_hate_the_snow/pseuds/I_hate_the_snow
Summary: Heavily focused on Shane.  He never tried to kill Rick, but a different turn of events changed the events of the lives of the group.No trigger warnings are given.  Mature readers only.
Relationships: Andrea/Dale Horwath, Lori Grimes/Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes/Shane Walsh (mentioned), Shane/Original Character(s), other relationships to be added
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

The relentless mid-day sun seemed to focus its rays directly on Shane Walsh, as the former deputy preformed his third checklist of the morning.

Criss-cross stacks of wood sticking up from the ground, three of the undead monsters already ensnared…check.

One walker, minus the arms and jaw, tethered to the chain-link fence every ten feet around the perimeter of the prison’s wall…check.

He wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand, trying to focus on his task at hand while trying to remember the symptoms of heat stroke from his days of medic training. He knew he had to get inside soon, but he had to keep going. He needed to keep everyone safe. His mistake already cost them so much already.

* * *

Inside the cooler, but stiff uncomfortably warm kitchen, the delicate aroma of tomato sauce was wafting through the air. 

Lori and Maggie took turns stirring the tomato sauce, politely smiling as they bumped into each other and tried to work around Lori’s expanded belly.

“I’m gonna bring them some water.” She said softly.

Maggie nodded in response as Lori filled two glasses of cold water and headed to the guard tower.

* * *

Glenn replaced his baseball cap after using it to fan himself.

“Maybe we could ask the guys to get some electricity up here? A fan would be good.”

Rick silently agreed, knowing that Tyrese and Abe have done some much already, he didn’t want to push his luck asking for more.

“How long are we gonna just let him walk around? He’s gonna kill himself.”

Rick nodded.

“He needs space. He’s always been like this. When he needs to clear his head, nobody can talk to him. He’ll come around.”

The two men stood on the catwalk of the guard tower, giving them a great view of the prison grounds. Rick’s eyes wandered to the piles of dirt outside the far end of the property. He had never seen such rage in the eyes of his long-time friend. Tomas, Andrew, Big Tiny, Oscar…and the red head. Maybe it was for the best, but not even giving them a chance was something that kept him up at night.

A sharp knock rapped on the metal door, startling both men from their near trance like state. 

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

Rick nodded and opened the door, being met by his wife.

“Thought you might need these.” She smiled as she held out the glasses.

“Thanks, baby.” He took one glass and handed it to Glenn before taking the other one for himself.

“We should probably get him inside.” Lori motioned towards Shane.

“I’ll talk to him. I was just telling Glenn that he needed some space.” Rick gulped down most of the cool water, one hand holding the glass and the other hand on Lori’s lower back.

“You should get some sleep. I remember how tired you were with Carl.”

“I’ll be fine. Dinner will be ready soon.” She reassured, although her back ached.

The three stood in silence as the moments ticked by. 

“I’ll get him. He’s gonna pass out at the rate he’s going.” 

Rick’s hand found Lori’s as the two walked back inside the prison. He led her to the kitchen before he headed to the fence.

* * *

Shane was sitting on the ground, his head resting in his hands. The horrible night kept replaying in his head, over and over like a nightmare that can never be forgotten. 

_The kid seemed innocent._

_The small campground that rested under the old sycamore tree was quiet. Rick was spending time with Lori in their tent. Carl was playing catch with Sophia. Carol was inside the house getting to know Hershel over a cup of tea. Andrea and Dale were in the RV._

_“Hey…sir…I just need some help. My name is Randal. My car broke down, and I’ve been on foot for miles. Can I please have some water? Maybe a gallon of gas for my car? I’ll be on my way and I won’t bug you again.”_

_Shane’s eyes searched the young man’s midriff for any bulges that would hide a weapon. With his own weapon inside his tent, he kicked at the dirt driveway before reaching the man. He said the same words he said thousands of times before the world went to shit._

_“Just put your hands on top of your head.”_

_“Do you have anything that can stick me?”_

_He patted the young man’s legs. No weapons. He’s a young kid…he doesn’t seem jaded._

_If he only paid attention, he would have seen the man taking mental notes of how many men were on Hershel’s land. The weapons remained hidden, as did half of their group. Shane had underestimated the kid, but Randal took full advantage of the lawman’s blind ignorance and hid a smirk._

_Tonight’s gonna be fun._

_Shane, Rick, Daryl and Glenn sat around the kitchen table, making notes from the Greene’s phonebook. They focused on gathering weapons, noting the nearby addresses of the gun stores._

_Lori was the one to scream as the group of thirty men tore down the driveway, leapt up stairs and burst through the door._

“Hey, man. You’re gonna pass out in this heat. At least drink something.”

Rick handed his friend the same glass he drank from minutes earlier.

“I’m alright.” He responded.

“Stop being so damn stubborn. Drink the water and come inside. We’re fine.”

Rick handed the glass to his childhood friend and watched as he finished it in two loud gulps. 

“I figure we could set some more traps. Get them bastards before they get closer.”

“We’ll work on it later. You’ve been out here all day. It’s secure. WE’RE secure. Get inside.”

“If we chop down that old oak over there…”

“Shane, what happened was an accident. Everyone knows that. Nobody could have predicted it.”

Rick’s reassuring response was met by stony silence. 

Shane shook his head ‘no.’ He wasn’t going to go back inside. He couldn’t face the false smiles and familiar eyes that hid deep resentment.

“Lori and I have forgiven you. I’ve forgiven you. You’ve gotta forgive yourself. C’mon, man. We need you to be okay.”

Shane agreed, and walked with Rick back into the prison. He wasn’t looking forward to another meal spent in awkward silence and avoiding the reason why they’ve settled into an old prison rather than the peaceful comfort of the Greene farm.


	2. Hello Again

Rick stood outside the cellblock’s bathroom, allowing Lori the privacy she needed. He heard her muffled sobs and ached to hold her in his arms. She was never the same since _that_ night. Neither was he, if he thought about it. 

He bore the scar on his cheek as he was forced to watch, the larger man standing behind him, forcing his eyes open and his switchblade digging into Rick’s skin. There were so many men. So many screams. Carl and Sophia were cowering in the corner of the kitchen’s pantry, trying to be quiet.

And the women… _their_ women…they were supposed to protect. Carol, Maggie, Beth, Patricia, Andrea…and his own wife, Lori.

Hershel tried to escape his captors. His hands were bound behind his back. When he saw what happened to his blonde hair daughter he slumped forward. There was no way to get to him. No chance at doing chest compressions. No way to bring him back. 

The mob of men took their turns, laughing at the screams. Laughing at the begging. 

It wasn’t until Hershel started moving when two of the men backed off. An arrow came from the darkness outside, landing directly in Tony’s forehead. 

Daryl’s convincing of Merle to join the family could not have come at a better time. The Dixon brothers ran into the house and joined the fight against the men, while the fire Dave set began to spread across the living room. 

The one who was holding Rick back was momentarily distracted, giving the Sheriff time to quickly turn around, grab the blade and plunge the knife into the man’s skull. Shane was freed from his restraint, Glenn from his. T was free. The men charged at the larger group, taking them one by one while dodging Walker Hershel and spreading flames.

As they escaped the house, Carl and Sophia in tow, Rick had to hold Lori back from running to the tent. He knew she had to grab the pictures. The damn photo albums. She risked her life to save snapshots of their past when Shane led her to safety. Then that night, even after she was savagely raped by multiple men, she needed the pictures. She broke from his grasp and sprinted to the camp, grabbing her books. He ushered Sophia, Carol and Carl into the red SUV they found before running over several walkers before getting to the tent, where Lori was already looking for him, her pants torn off, her shirt in tatters and her breasts hanging free.

She didn’t have time to grieve the assault on her body. Nobody had time to grieve the losses of Carol, Otis and Patricia, or the huge void of Hershel and their home. 

As the door clicked open, he had to quickly quash the memory. He had to be strong for her, as she looked at him with puffy red eyes and her tear streaked face.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, of stopping what was supposed to be a quiet lovemaking tryst in the boiler room. 

“Don’t you dare be sorry.” He replied, holding her closer and rubbing her back.

“I guess I wasn’t as ready as I thought I’d be. I want to, but I’m not ready.”

“It’s alright. Let’s go get some rest.”

The cellblock was quiet, the silence interrupted by a random snore.

Rick pulled Carl’s blanket up to cover his son before crawling into the bottom bunk, extending his arms for his wife to join him. Lori soon followed, wordlessly pulling the covers over the two.

His hand fell on her belly, feeling their baby move around. He felt a small kick. 

“There’s my linebacker.” He joked, as he whispered into her ear.

She turned her head and offered a polite smile, not wanting to have a sweet conversation at that moment.

Over a decade of marriage allowed them to read each other’s minds and hear the unspoken words that dared fall from the other’s lips.

Lori swung her legs over the side of the bunk, sitting up and trying to collect her thoughts. She loved her husband and was proud to carry their child again. But at that moment, she needed not to be touched.

* * *

Three cell blocks down from the Grimes’ family, Shane laid alone in his cell. He stared at the bottom of the bunk above him, wondering how things would be different if he had just paid attention that day. He would have seen the third man before Rick got shot. 

No matter how many times he tried to erase the memory, he kept seeing Rick gasping for breath, blood spreading across his shirt and his own hands getting wet with the warm liquid as it seeped through his gloves.

He insisted on riding with Rick in the helicopter. Rick’s tear-filled eyes locked onto his own, and through the oxygen mask he could read his friend’s lips; “tell Lori…”

“…you can tell her yourself.” He whispered aloud. 

Everything was his fault. He didn’t see the third man that day. He was the one to watch as Lori’s stoic façade shattered and she sobbed into his arms. He was supposed to be watching over the safety of the hundreds of cars that were lined up, bumper to bumper, down the highway. When he saw the shadowy figure walk towards him, he placed his jacket on the ground so Lori would have a dry place to sit. He should have had the willpower not to go further.

Depression turned to relief when Rick appeared at the quarry that day. He was hurt by the way Lori looked at him; as if he lied to her on purpose. He thought Rick was dead. Shared grief of the two crying onto each other’s shoulder turned into another mistake, one he regretted as soon as he entered her. 

He tried to turn his attention to Andrea. She wasn’t Lori. She wasn’t the one married to the man he considered a brother. She wasn’t there when the three of them were friends in high school. Andrea was different. Her private school upbringing and BMW lifestyle was miles away from the public school, beer and pizza way he relaxed with Rick and Lori. 

Being with Andrea was different. She demanded more physically. Every interlude with her left him physically exhausted. She wanted him constantly. In the shower at the CDC, against a tree at Hershel’s farm, in his tent, or even at the far end of the two hundred acre property, when they could be as loud as they wanted. He was happy to have a woman who matched his almost constant need for sex. Even a car ride to get supplies allowed them the chance to be alone in the car in the middle of an open road. Yet they never kissed, despite being connected in the most intimate of ways. Sweet words of endearment were never exchanged. Their relationship was based purely on sex. 

So why was she the last thing he tried to save when their world fell apart that night?

He grabbed Beth, half naked from her attack and pushed her into the cab of the truck. While the young women next to him was shaking with sobs, he focused on following Rick although his eyes were on Lori running to her tent. Just like in high school, and later college, Rick was the one to make the call. And that night he was all too happy to let it happen.

They met new friends since the fall of the Greene household. Abraham Ford, Eugene Porter, Tyrese Williams and his sister, Sasha. Sasha’s husband, Bob Stookey, was able to give them all rudimentary checkups. The good doctor knew Beth and Maggie were pregnant before anyone else did, including the women. Lori was further along, by a month or two. She didn’t know who the father was; either her husband or Shane. She didn’t know if she could carry a baby to term again, after the countless miscarriages they endured after Carl was born. 

After a supply run with Andrea, she was adjusting her clothes after getting out of the car. She either didn’t see the disappointment in Dale’s eyes, or didn’t seem to care. Shane’s eyes, however, connected with Rick’s. He knew. Lori was sitting on the front steps of the Green house, her face turned down, and he could tell she had been crying. 

“How about a walk?” Rick asked, his face blank.

* * *

“Look man, I thought you were dead.”

“You saved my family. Lori and Carl, God knows what would have happened to them if you didn’t help. You saved my family.”

‘’She told you.”

“Yes.”

He expected a fight. He thought Rick would kill him for the brief relationship with Lori. He thought a friendship that started before pre-school would end in blood over the affection of a woman. 

But Rick, always being the good guy, understood. He knew he was the most closed-mouth son of a bitch anyone could meet. He knew he had to be a better husband. He realized how he treated his wife. A close brush with death puts things in perspective.

And the pregnancy. There was a chance the baby could have been his. But the baby will be Rick’s. 

He let his mind wander. He thought back to the countless lovers he had over the years. Most were nameless faces he’d meet in a bar. He’d forget everything about them before the apartment door would close, ending the one-night stand. Sometimes the hookup would be in the parking lot of the bar. As soon as she left the car, he would move on to the next woman. 

He’d chuckle when he would tell Rick about each woman, knowing his friend was just humoring him by pretending to be interested. The cold, hard truth was Rick had what he was searching for; stability. A loving wife, one who put up with the moody Sheriff. A son. Not just to carry on the family name, but also a family. Every Friday night Lori would order peperoni on his half of the pizza, knowing that he would join them as if he were part of the family. 

It’s wasn’t monotony he was afraid of – he wanted it. He didn’t mind bedding the same woman every night. He saw what Rick and Lori had; they knew each other inside and out. From finishing each other’s sentences to moving in tandem around the house. He wanted the stability that comes with a long-term, loving relationship. He saw how Lori held Rick’s hand when he was in the coma, and wondered if he’ll ever have someone to care for him like that.

He had so many women over the years. Countless. So why was he all alone?

* * *

Maggie and Lori were in the place that made them feel most at home; the prison’s kitchen. They were busy preparing pancakes for the large crowd they had. 

“I wish I was back in my own kitchen.” Lori said softly.

“Me too.” 

“I miss the simple things…just things I add. Cinnamon, Vanilla extract, blueberries…”

“Sounds like yours were pretty good.” Maggie added.

“I don’t think they were. But I wanted to be the type of family that had pancakes for a Sunday. They probably hated it, but it was nice.”

The commotion from the cellblock caught their attention. Rick ran into the kitchen to grab his wife, and she had to run to keep up with him. He led her to their cell, where Sophia and Carl were already waiting.

“What’s going on?”

“Someone’s at the gate. Stay in here.” He demanded, stealing a quick kiss before slamming and locking the door.

Merle and Glenn already had their rifles aimed at the newcomer at the gate. Through the scope Glenn could see just one person, but the glare of the sun prevented him from seeing any more details.

Daryl had his bow and arrow focused on the figure. Shane extended his arms, his gun snugly in his hand. He inched toward the outer gate, slowly taking a visual checklist of the newcomer. One woman, a small child, two large bags. Nothing else. 

“What’s your name?” He demanded.

“Lilly Summers. This is my daughter, Julia. She’s two. We need help. We’ve been on our own since the start. My car broke down.”

“Let me guess, you want some water and a gallon of gas. Do I look like an idiot to you? You have a group that’s gonna come back later and try to take what’s ours? You think I’m gonna fall for that shit again?” Shane spat in anger.

The shocked woman was able to eek out a simple, “what?” as she shook her head no. Her voice cracked and stray tears started to flow.

“Step back, Shane. I got it.” Rick said sternly.

With Shane and Daryl standing behind him, Rick looked at the petite woman. She had long red hair, stood about five feet, two inches tall, and was very slender. Maybe ninety, ninety-five pounds. The little girl, with a mop of black curly hair, was sucking her thumb and holding a blanket and worn teddy bear close to her. 

“Do you have any weapons on you?”

“Just my pocket knife.”

“Lift up your shirt, just enough so I can see your waist. Then turn around slowly.”

Lilly did what she was told. No guns in her waistband.

“Please. It’s just me and my daughter. We won’t hurt anyone. We just need help. If you can’t take me, at least take her. I need to get her to safety. Please.”

Rick nodded and turned around. “Weapons down. Keep them at the ready. But she seems alright.”

He kept a firm eye on her as he fumbled with the key, opened the padlock, and opened the gate just enough for the woman and child to walk in.

“Shane’s gonna pat you down. I’m gonna go through your bags.”

She nodded, holding her daughter’s hand tighter.

Shane approached the smaller woman. She wore a tank top that was once white but was now filthy, mess, smeared with walker blood, dirt and God knows what else. The hem of her too-short denim cut-offs showed a bit of her ass. There wasn’t much to pat down. His eyes scanned her body. She had a rose tattoo on the back of her neck, just below her hairline. Roses on a vine led from her knee to her toes, which stuck out of a simple flip-flop.

Shane’s hands ran across the back of her tank top. She wasn’t wearing a bra. He asked her to remain still as his fingers ran over the back pockets of her shorts, finding nothing. He moved to her front, his search coming up empty. He had to shake off the memory of Deja-vue. He’s been in that position before with a woman with a rose tattoo. But then again, he’s been in that position before with hundreds of women.

Rick found nothing but clothes in both bags. Clothes for the child, diapers, and wipes. Some clothes for the redhead, and a photo album of the little girl.

“We’ll leave. I promise. We won’t do any harm. Can we just have some food? Please? Maybe a place to sleep for the night”

“C’mon. We have a doctor here to check you out. You’ll have you own cell for a while, until we can trust you.” Shane picked up the bags and made the woman walk ahead of him. He kept a firm eye on her ass as she walked. There was something about her he couldn’t put his finger on.

* * *

Dinner that night was guarded, as it usually was. The losses they had were deeply felt, and Shane couldn’t help but blame himself. 

After a few bites he excused himself from the table and went back to the kitchen to prepare a plate for the new arrival.

“You two settling in alright?” He asked.

Julia was sitting on the bottom bunk, in her worn Frozen pajamas. Her hair was still damp from her shower.

Lilly stood and approached the door, happily accepting the food. She wanted to flirt with the handsome man. She made a point of squatting down to hand her daughter a plate, giving Shane a perfect peek of her thong inside her shorts. She stood and slowly walked to the bars, her long, damp hair made a pink tank top almost see through. Her bra-less breasts stood tight and firm, her nipples virtually coming out of the garment.

“We’re fine. Thanks.”

Her green eyes pierced Shane’s brown orbs. 

_There was something about her._

“So, um…do you still have that ‘22’ necklace? How about the ‘lil ’bird’ tattoo on your pec?”

He knew, at that moment, they were lovers. At some point. He knew the rose tattoos looked familiar. 

“We met at O’Brians bar. You came in and started talking to some blonde. I thought you were cute. When the blonde walked away I walked over. We talked for a while, mainly about…”

“…The Atlanta Braves.”

Lilly smiled. Her face lit up. He remembered.

“Yup. I had just broken up with my boyfriend. He was a real prick. He led me on for months before he told me he was married. I had a few drinks, but I knew what I wanted, and I wanted you that night. I thought you would be good in bed.”

The memory came back. What they planned on being a one-night stand turned into three days in his apartment. They tried every position, tasted each other, slept in each other’s arms, and she woke up only when he penetrated her again. 

Shane chuckled and ran his finger through his head.

“I hope I didn’t disappoint.”

“Are you kidding me?” She moved closer to him, her voice turning into a whisper out of Julia’s earshot. “It was the best weekend of my life. I only wanted sex. Not just sex, I wanted to be fucked. You delivered. I’ve had lovers since, but nothing like what you did. Before the turn I couldn’t eat Rocky Road ice cream the same way again.”

Shane blushed and smiled.

His hands rested on the bars of the cell, and Lilly deliberately brushed her nipples against his fingers.

“I don’t have any Rocky Road here.” He chuckled, in mock disappointment.

“I guess we’ll have to try something else.”

* * *

Hours later, when moonlight flooded the cellblock, Shane stopped Rick, who was heading back to his cell from the bathroom.

“Can you watch the kid?”

Rick smirked and nodded, just as Shane led Lilly to the dark boiler room.

He made sure the door was locked before turning and walking over to Lilly. She had already shed her top, freeing her breasts. Their mouths immediately crashed together, their tongues battling for dominance. She let out a soft moan when he tugged at her shorts, pulling them down her thin legs, followed by her red thong.

She laid back on the old desk as he left a trail of kisses down her chest to her stomach, and then reached his destination. His eyes locked onto the other rose tattoo. It lay just above her shaved crotch. The memories of the intense weekend years ago made him harder.

He looked at her impossibly flat tummy as both of his hands squeezed her breasts. She covered her mouth with her hand to try to quiet the moans. Shane’s legs began to tremble. He quickly undid his zipper and let his pants fall away. Without a word he plunged into her, her familiar warmth comforting, her skin covered in a sheen of sweat. Her breasts bounced with every thrust. He needed her more and more of her as every second ticked by.

After a few moments she sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the feeling of his impressive length stretching her, just as he did so long ago.

Their bodies moved in a frantic rhythm, sometimes painful, but the waves of agonizing pleasure were trumped by the strong orgasm that they achieved together. 

He withdrew slowly, not wanting to let go. While he pulled up his pants she hopped off the desk, her breasts bouncing as she landed on the floor. He watched her slowly, as she teasingly slid her thong up her legs, he mumbled, “you’re beautiful.”

“Thanks.” She said with a smile. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Was it like you remember?” He asked.

“Oh yeah.” 

“I came inside. We didn’t use a condom.”

“That’s alright. I don’t think I can get pregnant again if I tried. That’s a long story.”

She pulled on her shorts and took her time putting on her top, knowing she was mischievously teasing him with her nearly naked body, and enjoying every second. His desire to fill her again grew stronger. Now he remembered why one night turned into three days.

Just as she was about to cover her braless breasts, she looked into his eyes. She smirked and knew they would need more time right then and there.

* * *

Rick was asleep in the corner of the bottom bunk, Julia’s feet inches away from his legs. His arms were crossed in front of him, his head tilted to the side. 

Shane gently shook him awake.

“G’night.” He said to them both, as he immediately headed back to his cell.

“It sure has been.” Shane smiled. “We could make this a regular thing. If you want to.”

“That’d be cool. I think of that weekend a lot. Nobody else ever measured up. Christ, you’re an animal.”

He smiled broadly before helping her to the top bunk.

“We usually serve breakfast around eight. It’s midnight now.”

“As long as I have coffee, I’m good.”

He chuckled. “Me too. Alright. See you in the morning.”

To Lilly’s surprise, Shane leaned forward and gave her a gentle, yet firm, kiss on the mouth. She was taken aback by the sudden tender moment.

“You’re little girl is beautiful. How old is she?”

“She’s two. The terrible twos at the end of the world. What’s not to love about that?”

He chuckled. “Alright. Well, goodnight. Again.”

After another kiss he bent down to cover the girl with her blankie and left the cell.

He returned to his own bed, exhausted from the unspeakable pleasure he had. He remembered every detail of the weekend three years ago. Smiling to himself, he was about to drift off when he did some quick math. Their encounter was three years ago. The girl is two.

He got out of his cell and padded to the next one over. Lilly was already asleep. He took a long look at the little girl asleep before him.

Could it be?


	3. Chapter 3

As the sunrise flooded the cellblock, Shane paced around the catwalk. He looked into Lilly’s cell and found them both asleep. He needed to talk to someone. The only person he could ever trust was feet away in a cell.

Rather than heading to the Grimes’ cell, he headed to the kitchen. Carl was sitting with Sophia and Beth, who was battling morning sickness. He glanced around the room and saw almost all the faces that made up the group at the prison. Abe, Eugene, Glenn, T-Dogg, Maggie, Tyrese, and Sasha. The Dixon brothers were on duty in the guard tower. Bob was taking inventory of items in the clinic and making a list of what they need when they go on a supply run to a local hospital.

Without thinking, he left the room and walked with purpose to Rick’s cell. The privacy curtain was fully covering the cell door. He pulled back the thin red sheet and saw a scene that he saw hundreds of times while sharing a dorm room with Rick.

Rick was lying on top of Lori, her shirt pulled up and her breasts exposed. He saw his friend’s pasty white ass before stepping back with a “sorry, bro.”

Just like all those mornings in college, when he wasn’t expected back until after a class and Rick and Lori were alone together, he heard some cursing, giggling, and the rustling of clothes. 

“What’s up, Shane?” A breathless Rick asked.

“Need to talk to you.”

“Right now?”

“When you’re free.”

He kept his head turned towards Lilly’s room. There was no sign of her. As the seconds ticked by the urgency to talk to his friend became more crucial.

Rick pulled back the curtain and exited the cell, closing both the door and replacing the sheet behind him.

“What’s up, Shane?”

“Sorry. I was never good with timing.”

“Need something?”

“I really need to talk.”

Lori quietly appeared and gave Shane a quick, polite nod. He couldn’t notice the fresh hickey on her neck.

“I’ll get breakfast.” She said curtly. She squeezed Rick’s hand before walking away.

* * *

“Well, what do you think? The timing lines up.”

Rick’s frustration simmered down to mild annoyance. He made Carl’s bunk as well as the one he shared with Lori, then sat on the lower one, watching as his friend paced back and forth.

“I remember her. She was the redhead I told you about.”

“Shane, you’ve told me about so many women I’ve lost track.”

“But I remember her. I remember that weekend. She has this rose tattoo between her legs, right above…”

“…I get the idea. Just ask her. If that little girl is yours, wouldn’t you want to know?”

As if on cue, Lilly appeared with Julia on her hip. Her hair was tied back in a tight pony tail, and she was wearing her pink tank top with a different pair short shorts. 

“Morning. I was hoping we could get breakfast?”

“Yeah. Absolutely.” Shane replied. He stepped forward, not knowing how to greet his lover.

Her answer was a quick peck on the cheek.

“Morning.” He repeated, looking intently at his lover, before turning his attention to the little girl. “Hi Julia.” He said softly. 

The little girl reached out for the man she barely knew and allowed Shane to hold her in his arms.

“Oh my God…she’s never done that before. She’s usually afraid of strangers.”

Shane glanced at Rick, who was letting his eyes wander around Lilly’s body.

“Hey, man. Whatta you think?” Shane asked his friend, now suddenly jealous of the way he looked at Lilly.

Snapping out of his trance, Rick smiled. “You’re a natural.”

“C’mon pretty girl, let’s get you and your mama fed.”

His eyes quickly scanned her taught body, and he remembered how good she tasted last night. The yearning for her right then and there was immediate, but he knew he had to display some self-control.

“You look good. Really good.” He smiled.

She smiled, her hand finding his. “So do you.”

“You sleep alright?”

“Better than I have in a long time. You?” 

Walking hand-in-hand with Lilly seemed as natural as breathing. He could tell she was younger. Much younger, than he was. Maybe mid to late twenties. Even without cosmetics or perfume her skin smelled deliciously sweet. He didn’t hide the fact that his eyes were locked on her body, and she liked the feeling of being inspected. Maybe he’ll touch her in all the right places, again, just like last night.

“So, how long have you been here? And is there something in the water, ‘cuz all the women are pregnant.”

Shane winced. “That’s a story for later. When it’s just you and me. Some bad shit went down a while ago. We had others and a place to stay. That’s why you had to get checked out yesterday.”

“Oh.” Her voice told him that she understood, and not to ask any more questions.

* * *

Their senses were assaulted by different aromas when they walked into the kitchen. Coffee, fresh bacon, eggs, and orange juice. Lilly was about to sit by herself before Lori invited her to join her at the larger table.

“Your daughter is so cute.” She added, as Shane helped Lilly settle in before placing Julia between the two.

“Thanks… um…”

“Lori.”

“Sorry.

“That’s alright. It’s a lot to take in. This is my son, Carl. You met my husband, Rick, yesterday. He was a cop and partners with Shane. That’s Sophia, and the pretty blonde over there is Beth. Julia’s you baby’s name?” Lilly nodded, a bit overwhelmed at how gracious the woman seemed.

One by one everyone came over to introduce themselves. 

Shane brought over trays, one for himself and the other for Lilly and Julia. He joined the two, and Lori chuckled at how Julia and Shane were moving almost in tandem. Eat, drink, eat, another drink, eat. 

“She’s got your appetite.” Lori joked to Shane.

* * *

After Shane left the platform with Lilly and the baby, Rick was determined to get more information about the new arrival. He went to her cell and saw the big duffle bag on the floor. He knew they held mostly clothes, but upon inspection he found her wallet. 

He opened it, in full cop mode to get more information, and glanced at her driver’s license.

When he slid it out of its home in the wallet, two more cards fell out. Both with her picture on them, both with the same name, but the only difference was the date of birth. 

He instantly realized the two fake cards, but did a double take with the real card, noting her date of birth.

The rest of the bag included clothes. Nothing for a change of seasons, but she packed well for her child.

He wished, now more than ever, for a way to instantly get information on the woman from dispatch. But she seemed innocent enough, especially for someone whom he will allow to be around his wife, child and unborn baby.

He replaced the cards and left the bag the way he found it. He chuckled when he thought about the news he needed to tell his best friend.

* * *

To Lilly’s surprise, her old Chevy was sitting with the other vehicles. Sometime during the night, or early morning, Abe and Ty drove out to get her car and brought it back. The hood was open, and the man, Merle she thought his name was, was tinkering with the engine.

“If you could get that thing running again it would be a miracle.” She giggled.

Merle stood and wiped the greasy from his hand.

“Of course, darlin’. Anything for a purdy face.”

She smiled, despite the chills that ran through her. She wished Shane was with her. Merle reminded her too much of her father.

“Well, thanks again.” She said quickly and walked away. 

Standing near a picknick table, she looked in awe at the system they had set up. A few pigs were in a pen in the corner of the yard. Rows of crops were thick with tomatoes and cucumbers, and she heard the clucking of chickens from an unseen coop.

She shielded her eyes from the sunlight and looked around for the undead, seeing just a few walk amongst the trees. She was startled when Shane walked up and stood behind her, his strong arms encompassing her torso. 

“Lori read a book to Julia. She’s sound asleep. Wanna go for a walk? It’s real peaceful over by the footpath.”

His smile revealed his true intentions, which she was all too happy to provide.

“Can they see us from the tower?”

“Glenn and Maggie are on duty. It won’t be no problem cuz them two are gonna be busy doing what we’re gonna be doin’.” He whispered in her ear, as he started to gently nibble on the soft spot below her ear. His right hand moved south but stayed outside her clothes. She let out a small moan and he saw her toes curl. 

He pressed his erection against her while pushing her backwards to him.

“I can’t wait to taste you again.” He growled.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” She giggled. 

He turned her around and lifted her over his shoulder, almost running to the private spot.

For the third time in less than twelve hours, he was weak when he looked down at her. He was firmly inside, on the threshold of spilling himself, and she was stretched out before him, perky breasts, ivory skin and a perfect body. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.

She raised her arms to run her fingers through his hair. Their mouths met with deep, passionate kisses. He could see her eyes were closed when he noticed the small horizontal scars that ran from her wrist to her elbow. 

He pulled up his pants and waited, watching as she slowly got dressed. In the broad daylight he saw small red scars dotting her back. He investigated enough child abuse claims to know they were cigarette burns. She smiled happily, and went to kiss him, which he accepted hungrily. The question in the back of his mind needed to be put to rest.

“So, um…Julia. She’s a sweetie. I was thinkin’ ‘bout the time we spent together back then. I was just wonderin’ if…”

“Yes, she’s yours.” She said bluntly.

She had just pulled on her tank top and adjusted herself so her nipples were prominent.

Stunned but not completely surprised, he asked, “Why didn’t you say somethin’? I wouldda made it right. I wouldda paid child support. I couldda been in her life.”

Feeling the sudden need to hide, Lilly replied softly, “That’s a long story. There was a lot going on back then. I would have contacted you. Hell…I knew where you worked and purposefully ran a few stop signs. I got tagged by some dweeb each time…Basin or something like that. But never you.”

“Basset. Leon Basset.”

“Whatever. I always hoped it would be you.”

“Why didn’t you go to the station?”

“Can we skip this for now? Please? It’s a long story.” She was flustered, her temper rising.

“It’s just that…”

“Shane. Shut the fuck up. It’s not worth talking about now. You are her father. She is your biological daughter. Congratulations, it’s a girl. Now I’m going back inside.”

* * *

Rick was waiting for his friend when he entered the cellblock. He watched as Lilly walked in alone and shut the cell door. Moments later, Shane trotted inside, headed directly to Lilly’s cell. Before he was even close, Rick stopped him.

“We need to talk.” Rick said, his face serious.

“Now? I just found out. She told me that Julia’s mine.”

“Congratulations. But we need to talk now.”

“Everything okay?”

“C’mere.” Rick led the way to the guard office.

* * *

Lori headed back to her cell, prepared for a long nap. Her back ached at that stage of her pregnancy. Just as she was about to open the door to her cell, she heard the muffled sobs. The sound grew louder the closer she got to Lilly's cell. She was curled into the fetal position on her bunk, crying heavily into her pillow.

“Hey…hey…Lilly. What’s wrong?”

“Everything. My entire life is a big fuck up.”

“Alright, it’s alright. You’re with friends now.” The black haired beauty rubbed the younger woman’s back. “You can talk to me. My husband and Shane have been friends since they were kids. We’re like a big family here.”

“Nobody would understand.”

“You never know, sweetie. We’ve all had rough patches. Maggie, Beth and I went through something really bad a while ago. You can trust me.”

Lilly’s body shook with sobs. She could feel Lori’s calming hand on her back, and could hear the words she was speaking, but the woman’s voice sounded a million miles away.

The deep sobs slowly stopped. They were replaced by dry, hoarse gasps, and later silent tears streaming out of her eyes.

Lori stood next to her the entire time, letting the woman deal with her emotions and knowing what it feels like to want to scream. “Take your time, hon. Whenever you’re ready.” Lori whispered, just before she turned and headed out the door.

“Stop. Please stay.”

“Sure. Anything you need to say will stay between us.”

* * *

Lori couldn’t help but shed sympathetic tears as Lilly told her about her life story. The first time her father molested her she was five years old. It became a nightly ritual, with her mother blissfully unaware and finding happiness in a bottle of Jack Daniels.

She caught the attention of the neighborhood bad boy. He was seventeen, she was ten. His abuse of her lasted until she he was shot in a drug deal that went bad at the age of twenty-one. Over the years she tried to get the attention of any many she could find, from classmates to teachers, and had a months long affair with the married football coach. 

She began drinking when she was thirteen, finishing the whisky before her mother did, which led to a fight between her parents. She was happy to hear her mother being hit. The woman who was supposed to protect her turned a blind eye to the noises coming from her room every night. But one night it stopped being funny when her father stormed into her room and dragged her out of bed by her hair. He thought she needed to learn a lesson. 

“This is your fault. This is all your fault. You’re a little whore.”

She pleaded with her father to stop, but he was relentless. She looked across the room to see her mother, just smoking a cigarette, watching the event unfold.

Her father got her pregnant twice. He didn’t want to pay for an abortion, so he thought the best way to terminate a pregnancy was hits, kicks and punches to her stomach. When those failed, he made her take a bus to a local clinic and demanded she lie about her age and name. Fear of getting her pregnant again, or having a child by one of his many girlfriends, forced his decision to get a vasectomy.

When she was sixteen she exchanged a blowjob for a fake ID and hung out in a bar. She knew how to attract the men who wanted her body. A face full of makeup made her look older, and a push up bra, along with a low cut blouse gave her all the attention she wanted. She loved the feeling of being eye candy for strange men. 

One evening, at an Irish pub, above the din of the different conversations around her and through a cloud of cigarette smoke, she saw what she wanted. He was tall and muscular. A blonde with implants walked over and tried to start a conversation with him. She gave up when it was clear he wasn’t interested.

That was her chance. She sauntered over, undoing another button on the way. She caught his attention almost immediately. She started talking about the Atlanta Braves and sat with her back to the bar, her miniskirt hiked up and her bare legs crossed. She rubbed his arm each time she giggled, and knew how to lead him on. He placed his hand on her thigh, and laughed at her jokes. She knew she had him for the night.

After her third drink he asked if she wanted to go with him, and she gladly agreed. During the drive she reached over and fondled his crotch, loving the smile that spread across his face. At his apartment she saw the pictures of him with a cute brown-haired man and a beautiful brunette, who was now sitting in front of her.

Shane was different from her father. Different from the others. He was passionate. Loving and rough but gentle. He kissed her. Showed her affection and held her tightly when she slept. 

She knew he was a cop, and she was only sixteen. He could not only get fired but end up in jail with the monsters he put away. She liked him immediately and didn’t want that to happen. She stayed with him for three days, but wanted to stay forever.

On the morning of the forth day she showered with him and watched him get dressed. She didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to go home. Her father would beat her just like he beat her mother. 

Over breakfast they sat together at the kitchen table. Shane wore a pair of boxers, she wore one of his button-down shirts, which hung open. He didn’t take his eyes off her one time during the meal.

He was in full uniform when he watched her change back into the clothes she wore at the bar. A black miniskirt, a push-up bra, and a tight red button-down shirt. No panties. By the time she pulled her hair back in a pony tail his pants were around his ankles and he was lifting up her skirt. She tried to grab onto the wall for balance and she rode him hard, his face contorted and serious. Her shirt fell open, and they were out of breath by the time they came in unison. 

He drove her back to the bar, and didn’t want to say goodbye. There was something about her that was intoxicating. 

“I’d really like to see you again. What’s your name?”

“Annabelle.”

“Well, Annabelle. I’m Shane. Shane Walsh. Can I have your number?”

She smiled and wrote it on the pad of paper he produced. She didn’t know why she gave a fake name. Maybe she didn’t want to be found, although she was desperate to run away.

“I’d really like to see you again. Hell, if we can have another weekend like that…”

She blushed, wanting to scream that she didn’t want to go.

“Absolutely. Call me anytime.”

“How about tonight?” He said bluntly.

She chuckled, but he was serious. “I don’t say this lightly. Good God you’re amazing. I swear, I’ll turn this car around right now and you can stay. Hell, I’ll give you a key.”

She leaned forward, her breasts spilling out of her top, and they kissed deeply before she stepped out of the car. He watched as her tight ass as she walked to her vehicle. She waved at him as she drove away. She wanted him to be her night in shining armor. To take her away from all the crap she had to live through at home.

She stopped at a McDonalds to change clothes. The miniskirt and tight blouse were replaced by jeans and a tee-shirt. She kicked off her stilettos and pulled on a pair of sneakers. When she washed her hands she inspected her reflection. She had hickeys on both sides of her neck, another on her chest, and one further down. She bit her lip when she smiled, seeing the marks left on her.

Her phone binged, a text message from Shane, “I mean it…tonight?”

She grinned and tucked her phone into her purse, but not before stepping into one of the stalls and taking a selfie of her chest. 

She was smiling about the entire weekend as she pulled into the driveway at her parents’ house. She turned off the engine and sat quietly. She had never felt so much pleasure, and he wanted her to come back. _He_ wanted her. Someone, finally, wanted her. Without a thought to what was waiting for her, she happily entered the house and shut the door behind her. She didn’t see her father’s fist until the last second. 

“Where the fuck were you?” He raged.

She had never seen her father so angry. He punched her again, knocking her to the floor. What followed was an onslaught of punches to her face. There was no way she could stop the assault. Fist after fist, sharp pain radiating across her head and from her chest, where he was sitting.

“You were out whoring around. You think I don’t know? If you wanna be a whore I’ll treat you like a whore. You little bitch!”

He held her throat tightly, almost choking her, as he ripped off her jeans and forced her legs apart. To her horror, her mother picked up her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She opened the messages and saw her daughter’s breasts as a response to “I mean it…tonight?”

Silent pleas to her mother were of no use. The woman showed her father the picture and the message.

* * *

She couldn’t recall what happened next, but she woke up hours later in the dark. She was naked and cold, and bleeding from her mouth and nose. Her crotch hurt. She headed to the bathroom, crawling over shards of glass that came from her mother’s drink. She locked the door and winced at the bright light. Clumps of her hair were missing, being torn out by her father. The cool tub was a stark contrast to the hot water that poured down upon her. The sound of the water hid her sobs. 

She never saw her phone again. She was never able to get in touch with the strong, sexy cop again. 

Weeks after her long weekend with Shane she started to feel different. Her breasts were swollen and she started vomiting after breakfast. She knew it was her way out. She could run to the police station, get her man, and the two would live happily ever after.

Then reality set in. A police officer and his pregnant 16 year old girlfriend. 

She waited until her father left for work and her mother passed out on the couch. She packed everything she had into a duffle bag and took the two hundred dollars, all the cash her parents had, from the cookie jar. 

She left, and never went back.

Lilly gave them a fake name at the homeless shelter, was able to continue her pregnancy with appropriate pre-natal care, and got a job as a waitress on the outskirts of town. The money was just enough to pay her way and cover the babysitting. 

She had learned from an early age that the more skin she showed, the more attention she got. Her wardrobe consisted of thongs, short shorts and tight tee-shirts. No bra and a white tank top would get her the most tips. She had to put up with men grabbing at her, touching her chest and pinching her ass. 

She heard through a friend that she could make money working for a woman who knew the area, and knew men with money. Her job at a run-down restaurant turned into a night job a high class bar. When a man tipped her one hundred dollars for a ten dollar drink, she knew what she had to do. All the girls who worked there did what they had to do to get by. 

She insisted on condoms, even if it meant a punch or two from a frustrated client. Even though she was out of her the prison that was her parent’s house, she felt captive. Her dreams of being a teacher and having a normal family life were quashed. The woman she reported to gave her a firm slap across the face when the men started to complain about the condoms. She and the other girls received monthly checkups, so she had to go on the pill. One night, as punishment for making her madam angry, she had to endure a group of men for her boss. She remembered at least a dozen before mentally checking out. No matter how hot the water was, she couldn’t wash away the memory of seeing her madam laugh and watch what was taking place, while taking a long sip of her drink.

_Just like mom._

After she saved a few thousand dollars, she ran from her boss and the disgusting men. She moved into in a small studio apartment in the center of town. She didn’t have a tv, so most of the news came from the radio. One evening, she was lying still on the fold-out couch with her daughter next to her, she heard the news that a local sheriff got shot. She was glued to the radio, having to sit through commercial after commercial, only to hear that the station would not release the officer’s name. Days later, when the radio couldn’t get a signal, she thought the batteries were dead. She plugged it into the wall, and still nothing. Then she noticed the hum of the fridge stopped.

Another blackout. The super didn’t pay the electric bill again. 

But this was different. She heard screams from outside, and cried as she saw people being attacked by these, things….

When she could, she gathered all her clothes and clothes for Julia and hit the road. The last place she wanted to go was her parents. The house was empty. With relief, she took what she could. It was no time to be sentimental. She had her father’s switchblade. The cabinets were full but time was short. She filled her car with everything she could get her hands on before strapping Julia in her seat and driving away. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. She’d find refuge in an abandoned house but didn’t want to be trapped inside with those things walking around outside. When her car finally stalled by the side of the road, she put Julia on one hip, slipped on her backpack, and held her duffle bag. Her tiny frame ached with carrying what had to be fifty pounds of luggage. 

She was on her feet for over a day before she found the prison. She remembered the cute man with brown hair from Shane’s picture, and was relieved when she saw him. She held it together until she saw Shane, but he didn’t seem to remember her.

She was happy when his hands were all over her body. Even though she was being searched by a police officer, it was him. She wanted to jump in his arms and never let go. She wanted him to take her in his arms and tell her she never has to be afraid or lonely or be with other men again. She wanted to scream that he knew who she was…why didn’t he remember?

When he brought the food to her cell, she did everything she could to make him remember. She used her body, shamelessly, and that night, feeling him inside her made her feel safe again. She wasn’t afraid of her father anymore. She wasn’t afraid of being degraded as just a whore. She could just be with the man she never got out of her mind. But she wasn’t sure if he still thought of her, or if she was just another memory.

The cell was silent when she finished. Lori wiped the tears from her eyes before taking Lilly in her arms. The last vestige of the wall Lilly put up to guard her feelings started to crumble, and the deep sobs returned. 

When Lori looked up she saw Shane and Rick standing in the doorway. Both men looked shocked and angered at what they heard. Lori waved Shane over and urged him to take her place. When Lilly saw her love, and realized he heard every word, her sobs became more violent, shaking her petite body with each time. She physically pushed Shane away and walked three steps before overwhelming grief and rage took a hold of her. She slid down and landed on the floor, her back to the wall.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” she kept repeating. She grabbed fistfuls of her own hair and tried to pull out clumps before Shane stopped her. He knelt next to her, and she fell apart when he took her in his arms.

“Never be sorry. It wasn’t your fault. I’m here now. And I’ll never leave you again.

He held her tightly, his body absorbing the violent sobs that came from her. 

“I…wanted to…call you. You’d…get in…trouble.” She managed to say before getting lost in unspeakable anguish.

* * *

Shane asked Rick to deliver three meals for the family, since Lilly didn’t feel like showing her face around the rest of the group. She was embarrassed and ashamed. That night, long after she calmed down and was able to eat some food, the two sat together as a strong rainstorm rolled through. The normally moonlit cellblock was pitch black. That didn’t stop Shane and Lilly talking softly, trying to get to know each other.

“So, David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar?”

“Who?”

“Oh, God.” Shane chuckled. He had to remember the huge age difference.

“Alright, what was your favorite food?” Lilly asked.

“A thick, juicy steak. I’m a meat and potatoes man. You?”

“Pizza or a hamburger. Favorite actor?”

“Tom Hanks.”

“I like him too.”

The cell was illuminated by a single candle. Shane sat on the chair Lori had brought in, with Lilly’s bare legs spread across his lap. She had her back to Julia, who shifted around but remained asleep.

After an hour of chatting they became quiet. Shane wasn’t planning on asking about family, but he was surprised when Lilly took the lead.

“So, what were your parents like? Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“My dad died when I was a kid. He was a cop, shot in the line of duty. Mom begged me not to go into the force, but I felt like it was in my blood. She died when I was at the police academy. A damn car accident. I had a sister. She was a year older than me. When I was ten she got sick. Cancer. The closest guy to a brother I’ll ever have is Rick.”

The silence hung in the room like a thick blanket.

“You don’t have to…” He said sternly.

“No, it’s okay. I’m an only child. Mom was an alcoholic. Dad, well, I guess you heard that story. No brothers or sisters. I don’t think I was planned or wanted. It sure didn’t feel that way. It was really rough, but that made me who I am. That asshole had a temper, and everything set him off. He worked construction and if it rained he couldn’t go to work…those days were the worst. Mom was always drunk or passed out and I was his punching bag. That night, at O’Brians, I saw you and something told me to go say hello. I only talked about the Braves because the game was on tv. I don’t know anything about sports. I was just hoping to get your attention.”

“Well, it worked. That’s for damn sure.”

“I didn’t want you to know I was only sixteen. I used a fake ID to get into the bar. Then when I found out you were a cop, and you could go to jail with the guys you locked up…you were too nice to take that chance. I tried to get caught in a speed trap, so you’d see my ID and make that connection. When I found out I was pregnant I wanted to tell you. There’s something about you that made me think you’ll be a good dad. Sorry about earlier. It’s just a raw nerve.”

“About what?”

“Near the footpath, when I yelled at you. It’s just… my parents really messed me up. I want to do everything I can to be a good mom. I’m only nineteen, but I’ve never hit her. And I never will. And I’ll kill anyone who does. When my dad took my phone and I couldn’t text you back I felt trapped. I thought about suicide…”

“Hey,” he moved closer, wrapping his hand around her lower back. “You don’t have to tell me right now. We found each other again, and we have a daughter. We’ve got nothin but time.”

She smiled with relief, then stood and sat on his lap, straddled his legs and looked at him face to face.

“Now it’s your turn. I can tell you have something on your mind. If you want to tell me, you can.”

His eyes turned soft. Swallowing hard, he told her about Randal. How he seemed to be an innocent kid who needed help.

* * *

“Later that night we were looking through Hershel’s phonebook. He was Maggie and Beth’s dad. Randal was part of a group of thirty men. They broke into the house. Nobody had time to react. A few guys held knives or a gun to the men’s heads and made them watch as they took turns with the women. Hershel. He was a good man. He had a heart attack when he couldn’t help Beth. She was his baby. We had this lady named Carol. She was Sophia’s mom. They killed her. There was another woman in our group, Andrea. I don’t know what happened to her ‘cuz a bunch of walkers came to the house and everyone scattered. Hershel turned and started to attack a couple guys. One of them set a fire to the house. It was a real nice home. Been in the family for almost two hundred years. They burned it down to nothin’. Maggie and Beth, they’re both pregnant. Glenn and Maggie were seeing each other before it happened, so it might be his baby. But Beth is carrying her rapist’s kid. I felt go guilty. I let this Randal kid look around – like he was casing the place. I had no idea.”

Shane cleared his throat, stubbornly trying to keep the tears away.

“It’s not your fault. There are some sickos in this world.”

“Rick was forced to watch Lori get raped. Thinking back it was five men. He was begging for them to leave her alone. She’s pregnant.”

“With one of the guy’s?”

“No. With Rick’s baby. She got pregnant before it happened. They both told me they forgave me, but I have a hard time being around everyone else. But them two…we’ve been friends since high school. It’s always been them two as a couple and me. Always. Rick’s my brother, and I couldn’t stop what happened to his wife.”

“They’ll need time.”

“I let them in. I trusted that little punk, but he was just reporting back to them.”

“It sounds like they would have been there no matter what. How long ago did this happen?”

“Six months, somethin like that.”

“They know it wasn’t your fault. They just need time.”

The two locked eyes before exchanging a deep, tender kiss. Lilly wrapped her arms around Shane, letting his face rest on her shoulder. Now it was her turn to console him. She felt her shirt moisten as his own emotions bubbled over.

She didn’t say a word, she just let him take the time he needed to try to forget that night. She felt his arms tighten, and knew he kept his feeling bottled up for a long time. 

It felt like an hour, if anyone kept track of time, before he calmed down enough to say, “You never tried to get me in trouble. I wouldda been sent to prison for life.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t want to get you in trouble.” She gave him a small smile. “That first night, when I fell asleep in your arms. That was the first time I felt safe. Ever. And I wanted to feel that way again. But I didn’t know how to show up, especially when I was pregnant and so young.”

Lilly got quiet as she saw a new expression that she never saw in Shane’s eyes before. It wasn’t lust or grief. It wasn’t frenzied ecstasy as he came. It was love. Tender, caring love. She almost gasped as their lips met again. 

“You wanna go to bed?” she asked.

He nodded, held her back as she got off his lap, and stood. She saw him strip down to his boxers and climb into the top bunk, waiting for her. Instinctively, she stripped naked and climbed up beside him.

She straddled him again, and her hands immediately reached for his boxers before he stopped her.

“We don’t always have to have sex. We can just lie here together. Just you and me.”

Relief washed over her face. She stayed in bed while he retrieved her shirt and thong. He closed his eyes when she got dressed, and then pulled the white sheet over them both and wrapped her in his arms.

“You’ll never have to worry again. Nobody will ever touch you again, I promise you that. You’re safe with me. I’ll do anything to protect the people I love.”

They tenderly kissed goodnight, but Lilly was far from sleep.

Soon Shane was softly snoring, his arms wrapped around the petite woman. She couldn’t forget what he just said.

LOVE.


	4. Chapter 4

The darkness of the night slowly slipped away as the morning crept in. The black sky slowly turned into a myriad of different colors, from deep purple and red to finally, strong sunrise.

Rick sat on the platform of the guard tower, watching the sunrise. He wished Lori was beside him…it was her favorite time of the day. They’d sit together in the comfort and safety of their screened-in porch, talking about what the new day held. If he closed his eyes and focused, he could still smell the magnolia that grew in the back yard. 

He always promised her safety. As a cop’s wife, she knew the risk that he may not come home. When he awoke from his coma, he found that the world had died, replaced by a nightmare he could never escape.

The security of their home was gone; replaced by days being spent on foot, walking from the dead. Living in a prison was the last place he thought he’d ever call home. Their freedom was gone, replaced by fear. 

He sighed deeply, trying to forget THAT night. He watched as Carol was attacked before she was stabbed. He couldn’t help Dale, who was shot point blank before he moved to protect Andrea.

But the one image that he could never forget was the look in his wife’s eyes as she was violated by the men. From the second they met in high school, freshman year biology class, he knew they would end up together. High school sweethearts. He remembered that day so vividly. She had her hair tied back in a braid, and while the other girls were dramatically asking if their lab partner could start the dissection of the frog, Lori was intrigued and didn’t put up a fuss.

Other memories were always in the back of his mind, ready for him to relive. They coordinated their college classes so they could spend time together. The dozens of times Shane walked in on them when they thought they’d be alone, the horrible time when a simple misunderstanding over him being overprotective caused them to split up for a few months, and the weekend they spent together when they made up.

He never thought he could be happier on their wedding day, when she walked down the aisle on her father’s arm. They never broke eye contact, except for when he wiped the emotions of the day from his eyes.

He held her hand as Carl was born, and he could remember hearing her when he was in his coma. She begged him to wake up, almost begging him to do so. The day they reunited at the quarry, they vowed to give their union a second chance.

Thinking back to what she needed from him, and how easy it was to withhold affection, he knew he had to be better. He could understand why she turned to Shane. Rick knew that he was just like his father, and how it drove his mother into a deep depression, eventually causing her to take her own life. He had to be better.

But nothing could have prepared them for THAT night. The men stormed the house, and they had no time to prepare. He had three men holding him down, and one forcing his eyes open, mockingly saying “look…look…look”

He couldn’t do anything to help her. No matter mow much he struggled He had to watch what the men did to her body…the way they make her cry and scream in agony and embarrassment. Two men held her down, making it impossible to escape. She begged them to stop, but each just laughed as they took turns.

He failed her. He failed his son.

In the of quiet morning, and the privacy of the guard tower, he was able to unleash his emotions until his voice was raw and face red.

* * *

The boiler room became the place for intimate rendezvous. It was away from the cellblock, giving them all the privacy, they needed. A flashlight was all they needed to see each other, and the warmth of the room made it feel sexier.

In that moment, the only people who were focused on each other were Shane and Lilly. Her back was against the wall, her arms raised over her head, holding onto part of a pipe. He legs were firmly wrapped around Shane’s hips and her eyes were shut tight, loving every thrust. He sucked on her breasts, giving each one ample time. 

Their mouths hardly parted, and she was amazed at his stamina. She already came twice, but he wasn’t even close to finished.

She tasted her own body whenever he shoved his tongue deep in her mouth and gritted her teeth when she felt a third wave of ecstasy begin to wash over her.

Her body was almost limp from exertion when he changed positions. He had her lean forward on the desk and entered her from behind. His fingers were entwined with hers, holding her hands gently as he continued his physical rampage. He leaned forward, covering her body with his, and accepted her kisses when she turned her head.

She knew his body by this point and knew when he would come. One long, forceful thrust followed by a moan, and then she felt him explode within her.

“Shit. Oh God. That was good. You’re something else.” He chuckled.

She felt a twinge of disappointment when he withdrew and the search for their clothes began. He handed her the usual clothes…a tight tee-shirt, thong and short shorts.

“We’ve gotta get you some real clothes. Stuff to get you through the winter.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

“Lilly. You need real clothes. The guys are planning another supply run. Gotta get cribs and diapers. We’ll get stuff for you and Julia. I gotta make sure my girls are warm and safe.”

She blushed when he referred to her as his own.

“Listen.” He said, suddenly serious. “You, me and Julia. We’re a family. Two months ago, I couldn’t sleep knowing I’d be a grumpy old man and nobody to turn to. Now I’ve got the most beautiful woman in the world in my bed every night, and I have a daughter. I’m a daddy. You have no idea what that means.”

She tried to blink back the onslaught of tears before he said, “No, none of that. Only happy tears from now on. Got it?”

She would always remember where she was when she heard the magical words. They stood in the boiler room at an old prison, she was half dressed, her crotch on fire from their most recent meeting. He had his pants on but his shirt off. He cupped her face, looked deeply into her eyes and said, “I love you, Lilly. I love you and I love Julia. We’re a family. I. Love. You.”

She could only muster a few words before her emotions boiled over. “I love you too.”

* * *

Rick stopped in the bathroom to splash cold water on his face, trying to erase every trace of weakness. He walked around the common area before checking the kitchen. Carl and Sophia were sitting with Beth, talking quietly. His eyes glanced around the room, making sure everyone was accounted for.

He walked towards the cell Shane shared with Lilly and saw his wife, sitting on the bottom bunk and staring off into space.

She jumped when he sat next to her, snapping her out of her trance.

“Sorry.”

“S’alright.” She replied.

His hand went her lower back, which constantly ached when she was pregnant with Carl.

“Wanna take a warm shower? That usually helps.” He whispered in her ear.

She shook her head no, trying to focus on holding down her breakfast while she watched Julia.

“Wanna go lie down?”

“I’m okay.” She replied, giving him a half-hearted smile.

Each knew the other was thinking about that night at the Greene farm. His hand went from the small of her back to her hand, which he held tightly. 

Julia carefully wrapped her bear in her soft blanket, holding it like a newborn.

“Is that your baby? I like your baby.” Lori asked, as she watched the tot who she became fond of over the past two months.

Lilly walked in with Shane. Julia immediately dropped her teddy bear, reached up and said in a loud, clear voice, “Daddeeee!”

He bent down and picked up his daughter, blowing a raspberry on her cheek and making her giggle.

“That’s my baby girl.” He said gently.

The toddler responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging her newly found father.

Rick tried to hide his gaze as his eyes wandered over her taught body. She wore the same thing she wore every day since she showed up at the prison, short shorts, a visible thong and a tank top without a bra. He could tell that she pulled the clothes on in a hurry, and for a moment was jealous of Shane.

The young woman offered a friendly “thanks for watching her” to Lori, making no effort to hide why she was away from the cell.

“Shane Walsh the father. I never thought I’d see it.” Rick said aloud.

“Honestly, me too.” He replied. “But I love this little girl. Her mama too.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Beth Greene awoke in the middle of the night. She walked around her cell before slipping on a pair of sneakers and pacing around the common area of the cellblock. 

Her back hurt, and the pain in her abdomen came in waves. She missed her daddy, her home, and her room. She tried to talk to Maggie, who was more concerned about spending time with Glenn than talking to her own sister.

She had a crush on Shane when the group first came to her farm. He was tall and handsome, with muscular arms and a crooked smile. 

He kept a firm eye on Lori, watching her closely. But once she seemed to pay more attention to Rick, he couldn’t keep his eyes off Andrea.

She remembered what life was like before everything changed. She would watch movies late at night, and before a steamy scene came on, she had to turn the program off. The look of sheer disappointment of her father’s face if he ever caught her watching an ungodly movie would put her in tears.

She was on her own that one day when Shane came into the horse stables with Andrea. She never liked the blonde woman…she seemed to give off vibes that told everyone not to mess with her. She was better, higher educated, and would never be with people in a lower class than her own.

Jealousy gripped her heart when she saw the two together. But there was a different feeling that day in the stables, when she watched as Shane removed his clothes. She saw his naked body. His muscular back, sculpted arms and chest, and she felt her face turn red when she saw what was between his legs.

But then, he pressed himself into the snooty blonde. She made obnoxiously loud noises and her breasts bounced as she laid back on the small table in the corner. But her focus was on Shane. She looked at the way he moved, and the expressions on his face.

She snapped out of her trance when she heard Andrea demanded, “don’t come in me.” But she never expected what she would see next. He pulled back and took what hid between his legs, rubbing it quickly before white stuff shot out and into the dirt. 

Andrea was already dressed and left the barn before he was finished. She left when he was still naked, and Beth’s eyes took their time as she gawked at him. 

She wanted him to stay naked, just so she could admire his body. He shook his head as he watched her walk away, mumbling something like “fucking bitch” when he pulled on his clothes.

He kicked some dirt over what he left on the ground and walked away.

When that horrible night happened, she wanted him to save her. She focused only on him, as his eyes darted around the room, looking for any sign of weakness.

He was the one she ran to when the men were finished with her. He pushed her into the truck and eventually, he held her when she cried on his shoulder. She wanted her daddy and wanted to go home. She wanted to wake up from the nightmare of the dead walking around.

She tip toed along the catwalk until she reached Shane’s cell. The door was open, so she walked in quietly. Julia was asleep on the bottom bunk, Gracie was asleep in her crib, and the man she thought was so handsome was softly snoring, Lilly next to him. Neither had shirts on, and the single white sheet barely covered their torsos. 

She wanted to lift the sheet and see what he had, but knew he was in love with the redhead. 

Her breast rested in his hand, and they were both naked. She left the cell as quietly as she entered and made it to the bathrooms before the pain in her gut became unbearable. She was alone. The man she liked was with someone else. Rick and Lori were married, and Maggie seemed to forget about her when Glenn came along. 

She caught Daryl looking at her a few times, but she knew he was too old for her. She knew he didn’t want her for a girlfriend.

She was alone, and in pain.

Shane was happy to be reunited with Lilly and his daughter. Rick said the baby Lori was carrying was his. Glenn was proud to talk about the baby he was expecting with Maggie. Despite the night nobody would forget, Glenn would accept the baby as his.

She had never felt more alone. 

She couldn’t be a mom. The men who took advantage of her that night were long dead. She knew there would be nobody to love her the way the other women were loved. 

There was so much hatred between herself and her sister. They never got along, ever since Maggie made it clear that SHE was the daddy’s girl of the family before her place in the family was replaced by a new baby.

She remembered hearing about girls giving birth by themselves. Some at home, some at school. She remembered one baby was born at a prom and thrown in the trash. She wouldn’t do that. But she couldn’t be a mom. 

After grabbing a few towels, she walked into the shower room. Her back ached and her stomach felt like she was being stabbed. She took her pants off and sat down, remembering the words “your body knows what to do.”

She bit down on the towel, trying to muffle her screams. She felt pressure and felt like she had to pee, but before anything happened, she felt a great relief and saw something move. It was a baby. HER baby. But she wasn’t ready to be a mom. Not knowing the man who got her pregnant was a monster.

Beth sat for few minutes, wrapping the baby in a clean towel. Every muscle in her body ached when she walked to the Grimes’ cell. The crib for the new baby, expected any day, was already set up. She didn’t care to know if it was a boy or girl; she just wanted to get away.

She gently placed the baby into the crib and grabbed Rick’s Colt Python. She cried as she walked back to the shower room.

She thought of all the faces that she missed, and the ones that waited for her on the other side. Mama, Daddy, Jimmy, Miss Patricia and Mister Otis.

It would only take a second.

She remembered the gun training back at the farm. The Colt was loaded, just waiting for her. She winced at the taste as she placed it in her mouth, steadied herself, and took a deep breath.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note - a portion of this was inspired from a popular Youtube video.

The grey sky finally released the long overdue rain, making the mood more somber than it needed to be. It was the morning after Beth’s funeral, and the entire kitchen was silent. The only sound was a small roll of thunder.

Maggie was stoic, just looking at her oatmeal. She refused to eat, despite Glenn’s urging.

Lori gingerly approached her, the newborn firmly in her arms.

“Hey. How about you hold your new nephew. Maybe it’ll help.”

“Help what?” Maggie snapped. “My sister was a brat. That thing is the bastard kid of her and a monster. Keep it away from me or I’ll throw it to the walkers.” She stood abruptly, threw her fork onto the table and walked away.

Glenn got to his feet and ran after his love while Rick sat down next to his own.

Lori began to crumble, and tightened the tiny, premature newborn in her arms. She tried to help Beth back at the farm, and she should have seen the signs leading up to her suicide.

“There’s a reason Beth picked us for that baby.” He whispered, rubbing her back.

Lori wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to remain calm.

“It’s alright. She picked you to be that baby’s mama. You always wanted a big family. He needs a name.”

She was silent for a few moments, before responding, “How about James?”

Rick winced. “After my dad? No. Not after the way he treated my mom. What about Michael?”

“After my dad?”

“Yes. He made me feel welcome, and he let me know what would happen to me if I mistreated his baby girl.”

She offered up a small chuckle. “He sure did.”

“Remember that one time, when Carl was a baby? You wore that eye shadow that was too dark. I swear, the way he looked at me… If you didn’t tell him it was makeup I’d still be missing.”

She smiled at the memory as the moments ticked by.

“I miss him.”

“I miss him too.”

“I tried to get to my mom when it all started. But I couldn’t. Everything happened so fast, and when she heard you got shot she planned on coming down to help.”

He gently rubbed her back as he watched helplessly as she became quiet. He didn’t want her to start thinking back to what happened. He needed to fix it for her.

“What do you think?” He asked, just above a whisper.

“Michael Grimes. I like it.”

“Me too, baby.”

* * *

“You think two cribs will be enough?” Shane asked nervously, as he checked and re-checked his weapons.

“Yeah. You also gotta think about space. We can share with Maggie if it means you have space for other stuff.” 

“Everyone knows? Everyone’s at the ready?”

“Shane, we’ll be fine.”

“Whose on the day shift for the tower?

“Merle and Daryl.”

“Alright.” He ran his fingers through his hair, part frustration and part anxiety. “I checked the gates before sunrise. They’ll hold. Think we can convince T to take another shift? He’s got the best aim.”

Rick chuckled at his friend’s nervousness. “Shane. We’ll be fine. And you’ll be fine.”

“Bro, I’m leaving my baby girl alone.”

“You’re leaving Julia with us.” Rick reassured. 

Shane fell quiet, knowing his daughter would be safe with Rick and Lori. He slowly nodded in agreement. His hands worked quickly, to double check the walkie-talkies, ensuring they had fresh batteries and we set on the same channel.

The plan was simple. Abe and Ty would take separate cars, joining Shane and Lilly in an SUV. They planned to get clothes, medicine, tools, and hopefully, food. 

Rick watched as Lilly stood outside the cell she shared with Shane and Julia. She stood facing inside the cell, letting Rick take in her full silhouette. Her long, silky hair was tied back in a pony tail, and her braless tank top make her nipples pop out of the thin garment. He remembered the morning after Shane weekend with the young woman. He described in detail the way she looked, how she tasted, and how eager she was to please him sexually. 

But there was something different about the way he spoke about the woman named “Annabelle.” It was almost as though he truly cared for her, something he never said about any of his other conquests.

He had to force himself to tear his eyes away and return to the cell he shared with Lori and Carl. It was quiet, and Lori’s was sitting on Carl’s bunk, her back to the wall, quietly humming to baby Michael as the baby was suckling away at her exposed breast.

“You’re a natural.” He smiled, standing outside of the cell.

“It’s like riding a bike.” She replied, looking up and meeting his gaze.

“You wanna stop at three or…”

“Hang on there, cowboy. You’re not the one going through the labor.”

Nodding while walking closer, he gently placed his fingers on her chin and raised her face, meeting her lips with a soft kiss.

* * *

A few cells down, Shane was rubbing the back of Julia, who was sound asleep in her bunk. For the first time in his life, he felt pure fear of leaving someone. Julia was his daughter. His baby girl, and she held his heart in her small hands.

He placed her teddy bear next to her and kissed her forehead before finally standing and walking towards Lilly.

* * *

The other three stood in the courtyard, listening to Shane give directions to the strip mall he found in an old phonebook.

“Alright. When we get there, me and Lilly will take the Kohls. You two think you can take the Home Depot by yourselves?”

“Good gracious Ignatius, we can do that.” Abe replied.

Lilly giggled, Shane smiled and Ty let out a loud chuckle as they claimed their vehicles. Abe selected a black pickup truck, Ty chose a red minivan, and Lilly joined Shane in a blue SUV.

Ty led the trio of cars down the dirt road, and Sasha waved goodbye to Shane as she rolled the first gate closed.

* * *

Shane had one hand on the steering wheel and the other entwined with Lilly’s as the two drove down a deserted road. They saw the random abandoned vehicle and countless tree branches, but no sign of a once vibrant road of a once vibrant world.

Miles of endless road took them to a wide open clearing. One the right side was and abandoned gas station, cars that were hoping for fuel to get to safety sat still, their occupants unknown. 

“We should see if we can get some gas. Home Depot should have some Jerry cans.” Shane mumbled.

One by one, the three vehicles turned left into a deserted shopping center. A few walkers roamed around, looking for victims. 

The walkie talkie crackled to life. “We can scavenge the cars. Maybe pop the trunks.” Ty said flatly.

“Roger that.” Abe replied.

They had their choice of stores. Along with the clothing and hardware stores were a pharmacy, beauty shop, a shoe store and a coffee bar.

“We’ll take the Kohls first.” Shane said into the radio.

The vehicles slowly stopped in front of the store. The wide doors were half open and darkness enveloped the inside.

“Hang on, Shane.” Abe’s voice was heard. “Cover me. I’ll knock on the glass. Any of those freaks will come to the front. Then you drive that car inside. If anything happens it’ll give you some shelter.”

“Ten-four.”

Ty and Abe left their vehicles running as they slipped out of the driver’s seat. Shane did the same after demanding Lilly roll up her window.

Abe knocked on the glass, five sharp raps, and waited. Ty and Shane stood with their backs to the Marine, their eyes scanning the parking lot. The walkers didn’t seem to notice them and stayed in an eternal pattern of ambling around. 

The moments ticked by. Abe knocked on the glass five more times.

Silence.

The military man nodded at the police officer, who returned to the SUV. Abe and Ty pulled the glass door open and Shane’s vehicle easily slid into the store. He drove over the up-turned clothing racks and turned the engine off when he saw the two men close the door behind them.

“It took the end of the world to go on a shopping spree.” Lilly giggled. “Are you sure we’re alone?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Cool.”

Lilly hopped out of the vehicle and withing seconds she stripped her clothes and hopped onto the hood.

“I’ve always wanted to do it on a car.”

He chuckled and was quick to join her, shedding his pants before awkwardly climbing onto the car. He got between her spread open legs and smoothly entered, their mouths meeting as they began moving together.

* * *

When they were finished, he convinced her to pick more conservative clothes. The thongs were replaced by cotton briefs. She found a bra she liked, and it fit perfectly, so she picked one in every color. The short-shorts were replaced by comfortable jeans and sweatpants, and she picked an array of different shirts. The worn flip-flops were replaced by sneakers and warm socks. She got two dozen pairs of pants and shirts for Julia, and followed the wish list that Lori, Maggie and Sasha gave her.

The bedding section was picked clean, only letting them select a few pillows and blankets. 

Shane kept a good eye on her as she was picking out different clothing items, as he didn’t want her to see him at the jewelry case. Without being restrained by a cop’s salary he was able to get everything he wanted. For Rick, he wanted to get Lori a diamond bracelet. He gave her the earrings she always wore when Carl was born, so given how they were living, he had to up his game. He sorted through the looted cases and picked up some necklaces and earrings, most for Rick and Glenn to give to Lori and Maggie, before he made sure Lilly wasn’t looking. He went to the diamond ring section and picked out the biggest one. He hazarded a guess at her size, thanks to a piece of string he roped around her finger while she slept.

* * *

“How’s it going?” Shane asked, once he and Lilly were back in their vehicle. 

“We got a shovel, an axe and some seeds. Not much else at all. Got some Jerry cans and gonna go to the gas station.” Ty replied.

“Ten-four. We’re gonna try the pharmacy.” Shane quipped into the radio.

He slowly parked feet away from a non-descript pharmacy. The window displays, once proudly arranged by the wife of the store’s owner, lay picked apart and unkempt. A piece of white paper taped to the glass door read, “Help yourself. God bless.”

“Jesus.” Lilly whispered.

“It’s alright.” Shane reassured. “You’re safe with me. Do you wanna stay here?”

“No. I’m staying with you.”

“Okay.” He said, giving her hand a light squeeze.

Lilly stood between the front door and Shane. He was protecting her, his arms encompassed her body as he pushed the door open. The store was warm and dark, and lacked the putrid stench of the dead.

“Looks okay. Let’s give it a shot.”

She nodded nervously and gripped onto his hand. The soft sounds of a woman moaning and the familiar smacking of skin on skin could be heard from a dark corner.

Their eyes connected and fear turned to amusement as they realized they walked in on strangers having sex.

“They got nothing on us.” Lilly whispered, as her hands went directly to his pants.

“Not now.” He softly admonished, pushing her hands away. “Let’s just get what we need and get outa here.”

Shane followed Bob’s list, selecting medicine he couldn’t even try to pronounce. Lilly filled bags with hydrogen peroxide and rubbing alcohol, gauze and ointment, feminine hygiene products for the women and razors for the men. After each bag was filled, it was quietly placed at the door. 

Eventually, the moaning stopped. The two made eye contact and knew they had just a few moments to leave before they were caught. Lilly quietly held the door open the door and watched as Shane put the bags in the back of the vehicle.

He ran back into the building and whispered in her ear, “Let’s just scan the place.”

She nodded and quietly went closer to the aisle with some shampoo and lotion. A voice stopped her in her tracks. She dared not turn around to see her old boss.

“Hello stranger.”

Shane knew the voice before he turned around. Andrea.

“Well, if it isn’t the prick who left me to get torn apart. You led those men right to our front door and you don’t have the balls to grab me? I saw you run off with blondie.”

The man, who shared the corner of the room, sauntered over, seeing a ghost from his past standing in the shampoo aisle. He took quick steps in her direction, determined to get his hands on her. 

“So. What are YOU doing here? Are you still with Officer Friendly and Olive Oyl? How can you look in their eyes, knowing what you did to Lori? How can you live with yourself know you are responsible for what happened?

Shane was about to turn and walk away, but he was suddenly aware that Lilly wasn’t standing next to her. In a panic, called her name and searched the store. She was curled up in the corner of the first aisle, trying to make herself as small as possible. Her hands covered her ears, her eyes were shut tight and she was rocking back and forth, trying to calm herself.

“Hey…” He said. He knelt down and tried to get her attention.

“Lilly. It’s me. What’s wrong, hon? What happened? Are you hurt?

“No. Please. No.” She begged and pushed him away. “Please.”

He quickly did a search, checking her body for wounds. He found nothing.

“I gotta get outta here. Please, Shane. Can we go?”

He noticed fresh blood on her fingertips. Grabbing her hands, he saw the smeared blood was not hers, but skin was caked under her nails. He heard someone breathing heavily, and slowly looked up.

“Who are you?” Shane demanded. “What did you do to her?”

He stood immediately, standing in front of his love, protecting her. 

It was then he saw the fresh blood dripping from his neck. Whoever this man was, He was face-to-face with Lilly when she scratched him. His fingers darted to his hand, which held the business end of a hunting knife.

Ignoring Shane, the man started to walked directly over to the young woman but stopped was stopped by the police officer and thrown to the floor. He started screaming.

“You little fucking brat. Your mother’s dead. You’re still dressed like a slut. Come over her and give your daddy a hug.”

Lilly’s cries turned into deep sobs. When Shane bent down to talk to her she reached her arms up and wrapped them around him. 

“Is that your dad?” He whispered in her ear.

She nodded yes. “We gotta go. Now. Please, Shane. Now.”

“Okay. It’s alright. It’ll be okay.”

“You’re her father?” He spat, his eyes on fire, borrowing a hole into the man, who was back on his feet and approaching the couple, his knife raised.

“She’s the biggest mistake I ever made. Her mother shouldda had an abortion. You’re a mistake, you little whore. You’re mother’s dead. You’re still dressed like a whore. I shouldda killed you when I had the chance.”

In one quick motion, Shane withdrew his gun and shot the man in his left kneecap.

The man crumbled and screamed in pain. 

He replaced his weapon, walked over and picked up the hunting knife, holstered his gun and slid the knife into his pocket, then picked up his love, bridal style, and walked out of the clinic. 

“Can I come with you, lover? I need a place to stay.”

“You’re on your own.” He snapped, as he secured exited the store and walked purposely over to his vehicle. He helped place Lilly in the passenger seat of his car, kissed her forehead, shut the door, and turned to face his former lover. As soon as he turned to her his face stung by a quick slap from her hand.

His response was a quick fist to her right cheek, knocking her on the ground.

“You don’t have the right to turn me away! You have a new piece of ass? Do you know where she’s been?”

“And you’re as pure as the driven snow, right, Andrea?”

She scrambled to her feet and continued yelling, not caring about the attention it would draw. “You can’t leave me all alone. I don’t have a group, and the only person I had with me is back there dying.”

She didn’t bother to look in the directions of the screams of agony, and didn’t care that her voice could attract some walkers.

“Are you really gonna tell me some sob story right now? You have no idea what he did to her. And yes, she’s with me now. I didn’t try to help you that night because you mean nothing to me. You’re on your own. Find shelter, get torn apart, die in the gutter. I don’t care about you. I never did.”

He walked away and headed towards the driver’s seat. Andrea was yelling at Lilly, banging on the car’s window and demanding she open up. Without even casting a glance her way, Shane tore out of the parking lot, one hand on the wheel and another hand in Lilly’s grasp.

* * *

He parked next to the black pickup as Ty gave him a friendly nod. He noticed a few Jerry cans in the bed of the truck, along with gardening equipment. He stopped the engine and looked over at Lilly, her face red and streaked with tears.

“You killed him.” She managed to whisper.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. I can’t get what you told me outta my head, and when I saw your reaction to seeing him…If I couldda rung his neck I wouldda. But shootin’ him in the kneecap, that’s gonna make him hurt. I broke my kneecap in college playin football. It’s the worst pain. And he’ll scream even more when the walkers tear him apart.”

She leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, baby.” He let her cry softly on his shoulder, wanting to take away all the pain she suffered at the hands of that man. His eyes closed for a few moments as he inhaled the soft sweetness of her skin before opening them to focus on the shopping center across the street. Andrea was making her way over, screaming and running from the walkers as they were closing in on them.

“Shit. That bitch is gonna get us killed.”

Abe, who exited the gas station with a bag containing a few bottles of water, stale granola bars and a crushed box of band aids, overheard the commotion and raised his weapon. 

“Stay here.” Shane ordered Lilly.

The three men stood shoulder to shoulder as they raised their weapons and took down the walkers, knocking the off one by one. 

Andrea ran towards Abe. She didn’t recognize him but was instantly interested in getting to know him. Her arms were flailing.

“Help!! Please!!”

“Get in the car.”

“Shit.” Shane muttered under his breath.

The police officer made eye contact with the troublesome blonde, who gave him a smug smile as she hopped into the pickup. She turned to Lilly and gave her a condescending wave.

* * *

Shane led the caravan back to the prison, the cars packed with a successful supply run.

Eighteen miles out from their destination, Shane muttered, “what in the hell?”

A man, or what once was a man, had turned. He had a stick tied to his shirt, and at the end of the stick hung a bag of raw, red meat. On his back was a makeshift car seat with a baby inside.

“What should we do?” Lilly asked.

“Y’all see this?” Shane barked into the walkie-talkie.

“Yeah.” Ty responded.

“Shit, he has a baby.” Shane added.

He shifted the car into park and exited the vehicle, and was soon joined by Ty. The two men studied the walker as it approached them.

Ty raised his hammer and struck the walker in the head, taking him down immediately. As the former football player slowly guided the man to the ground, Shane plucked the baby from his back. A piece of paper was pinned to her onesie.

“C’mere sweetie.” 

The baby squinted in the harsh sun as Shane read the note.

“My name is Gracie. I’m 9 months old. My mom died in a car wreck down the road, and if you’re reading this, I hope I’m safe. My dad did what he could to save me, and I hope it worked. Please give me a good home, but please don’t let me forget about my mom and dad. Phillip and Lydia.

“God damn. He knew he was gonna die and wanted to make sure his baby was safe.” 

As the two men locked eyes, they knew what they had to do. Gracie was soon asleep in Lilly’s arms as Ty and Abe dug a grave for the man. Shane stood guard as the men worked, and rolled his eyes as Andrea got out of the truck and approached him.

“Shane, we need to talk.”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

“You left me to be torn apart.”

“Here we go.”

“Yes, here we go. You left me in the dust. I was on my own for months.”

The silence hung heavy in the air, making an uncomfortable situation unbearable.

“Did you tell the little whore in there about us?”

Without a word, Shane grabbed Andrea by the throat and backed her against the hood of the SUV. He had never felt so out of control.

“Don’t you ever talk about her like that again. Ever. I wish you did get torn apart. We’d be better off.”

Sensing the rage in his eyes, Andrea mouthed a quiet apology before he released her and let her walk back to the pickup.

When the man was buried, and the men returned to their vehicles, Lilly handed a photograph of Gracie with her parents, which was attached to the note. It showed a young woman with short black hair and the human version of the walker they just put down, holding a smiling baby. 

His mind immediately pictured the couple as Lilly and himself with a smiling Julia.

“I guess we’re a family of four now.”

Lilly kissed the top of Gracie’s head and held her close to her body. 

He looked at the baby and said softly, “I’m sorry about your mama and daddy, Gracie. Me and Lilly will give you a good home. You’re gonna have a good life. You’ve got a big sister waiting back home. Welcome to the family, baby girl.”


	7. Chapter 7

While Shane, Lilly, Ty and Abe went on their trip to return supplies. The prison was a beehive of activity. Eugene spent his time in the warden’s office, trying to contact somebody…anybody… through the police scanner. He heard nothing but dead air.

Sasha sat back her bunk, exhausted from a morning of cooking breakfast for the smaller but still large group, all while making small talk but trying to avoid Merle Dixon.

Daryl sat on the ground atop Beth’s grave, wishing he could have precious moments back. If only he was able to take down the men, they would still be at Hershel’s farm. If only he was more attentive to Beth, kinder, more supportive, she may still be alive. If only he stepped up and offered to raise the baby with her, happily taking on the de facto father role, she wouldn’t feel so alone.

If only…

* * *

The loud, angry voices resonated throughout the cellblock.

“You haven’t felt the baby move in over a day. Please let Bob check you out.”

“No.”

“Maggie.”

“I said no!” She spat.

“It could be mine.”

“Or it could be that asshole’s. You have no idea what I have to live with. That bastard, Shane, let them in. They killed my daddy and burned down my home. They did this to me. Shane just opened the door.”

“Please clam down, it’s not good for the baby.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down.”

The loud fight gathered attention of others, who knew to stay quiet and let them work it out.

“I don’t want this baby. Never did.”

“The baby could be mine.”

“But it’s in my body.”

She stormed out of the cell, slamming the door shut. It met the metal frame with a loud clang before rolling backward and gaping open. 

Maggie stomped throughout the block until she got to the door, pushed hit hard, and went outside to face the hot Georgia sun. She winced from a sharp jab of pain from her abdomen before heading to a pile of broken bricks and retrieved a well-hidden pack of cigarettes. She shook out the red Bic lighter and after a few tries, was finally able to get a small flame. The deep inhale of tobacco soothed her nerves. With the pack of butts in one hand she strolled to the area of the cell yard that went mostly untouched. It gave her the privacy she desperately needed, and she was finally able to be out of eyesight of everyone she had been stuck with for almost a year.

The isolation also prevented anybody from noticing when she suddenly grabbed onto her belly and doubled over in pain.

* * *

After Michael finished his feeding, Rick took the baby from Lori, gently swaddled him a small kiss on his forehead before placing him into an old crib that was found while scavenging for supplies. He stood for a moment, looking at the new life for whom he was responsible before he heard Lori gasp.

He turned to see her grip onto the frame of the bunk, her pants soaked with her broken water, and looked at him, wordlessly, for help.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Okay. You’ll be fine. Let’s go to the clinic.”

With one arm wrapped around her torso and the other holding her hand, the pair slowly crept towards the clinic. As they walked she had to pause and gasp in agony as her hand clamped onto his like a vise. 

He gritted his teeth through the pain, trying to stay calm for his wife.

“Just breathe. Remember that Lamaze class we went to? Try to focus.”

His words fell on deaf ears as Lori let out a wail of agony, the pain of labor that a man would never understand. The scream echoed throughout the cellblock, gaining the attention of the other family members.

The double doors leading to the kitchen swung open, followed by Carl and Sophia.

“Dad? Is mom okay?”

“Fine, buddy. It’s baby time. Go tell Bob, and then go back to the cell and watch over your brother.”

Carl cast a hurried glance at his mother before nodding and following his father’s orders.

* * *

When the walk to the clinic seemed to take longer than it should, and Lori’s cries of agony became louder, Rick picked her up, bridal style, and ran to the medical wing.

“The baby’s coming.” Lori grunted through clenched teeth.

“It’s alright. It’ll be okay. We’ll get Bob. He’ll help. Just breathe.” Rick stuttered, his once calm demeanor replaced by anxiety and fear.

He used his backside to push the clinic door open, and seconds later Bob joined them, running over to wash his hands as Rick unbuttoned Lori’s pants and helped slide them off.

“What should I do?” He asked.

“Just keep her calm.”

He placed her on the cool white sheet of the and remained at her side as Bob examined her.

“She’s crowning. Lori, you need to push.”

* * *

In his lifetime, Rick Grimes had seen a child born exactly three times. The first time was in seventh grade health class, at which point he knew when to divert his eyes amid a chorus of “ewws” from his classmates.

The second time, was a video shown at the police academy, when officers had to fulfill the age-old troupe of a cop delivering a baby. He was able to watch until the baby started to crown, but had to close his eyes, just like in grade school.

When Carl was born, he was able to sit near Lori’s upper half, dabbing her forehead with a cool cloth and talking to her throughout the process. A blue curtain separated his vision from what was goin on at his wife’s mid-section, hiding the inside parts of her he never planned on seeing. His knees were wobbly and the room started to spin, but everything changed when he heard their baby boy cry for the first time.

This time, as soon as he saw Lori’s blood-streaked thighs and hearing the wails of pain she emitted, he tried to grab onto the bedrail before everything went dark. 

* * *

He felt like he was floating. He heard familiar voices in the background, some chuckling, some saying words he couldn’t quite discern.

When his eyes fluttered open, he looked around at the clinic. 

“Morning sleepyhead.” Lori chuckled.

He looked towards her voice, finding her in the cot directly next to him. He reached up to feel the small lump on his forehead.

“What happened?” He asked, the fog of unconsciousness fading away.

“You passed out and hit your head. Bob stitched you up and gave you a pain killer. Come say hello to your daughter.”

Rick looked at the tiny bundle in his wife’s arms. The baby was swaddled in a soft blanket, sleeping peacefully. His tears formed easily as he swung his legs over the side of the cot and slowly stood. He was able to make the two steps forward before he climbed onto Lori’s cot, his shoulders sneaking behind her to physically prop her up.

“She’s your baby, Rick. She’s our daughter.”

“I know she is.” He whispered, as he tried to hold onto his emotions.

Lori turned her head to look at her husband. Their eyes locked, and every argument, every fight, every angry word they had said to each other disappeared into a memory.

Rick’s fingers found Lori’s cheek, holding her face as she was looking in his direction. Their lips met tenderly. 

“We have a baby girl.” He said softly, as the tears flowed easily.

* * *

As the Grimes celebrated the sudden expansion of their family and finally mended their broken marriage, Glenn Rhee decided it was a good time to look for Maggie. 

He checked the kitchen, the shower room, the guard tower and the courtyard before a hint of cigarette smoke wafted in the air. Mentally preparing himself for another fight, he slowly walked towards the hidden spot in the yard. His footsteps were heavy, not knowing what he would find.

When he turned the corner he wished he stayed back in his cell.

He saw his love, her fair skin now ashen grey. Her beautiful brown eyes were frosted over, unseeing, and the voice he came to love was now a deep growl.

He was unable to hold onto his emotions.

“Aww…no. No, no, no, no….” He began to cry.

“No!”

His cry of anguish was heard by Daryl, who ran over to help his friend. The redneck saw the nightmare unfolding in front of them. Maggie…or something that was no longer Maggie, had turned. She slowly began to amble towards Glenn, who had lost the battle with his emotions and was lying on the ground, sobbing.

Having the unenviable task of putting down the woman who convinced her father to let bunch of misfits stay, Daryl felt his own tears form. He held onto hope that the baby could be saved, and knew what he had to do. 

With his hunting knife firmly in hand, he moved forward.


End file.
